Written by: Brad Pedersen

When I was first scaling my companies in my twenties, I had a burning desire to succeed. Like many young entrepreneurs, I was driven by the dream of accumulating enough money to improve the quality of my life and to provide security for my family.  I wanted nice things, and the freedom that comes with having resources. It was a pure, almost innocent motivation: money as a means to live better.

However over time, and as I achieved more in business, something subtle began to shift. I found myself continuing to pursue more money, but I noticed my motives were changing in ways I hadn't fully recognized at the time. What started as a tool to build a better life was slowly becoming something else entirely.

It wasn't until recent years that I could clearly see and articulate what had happened. 

The Two Faces of Money

I was recently listening to a podcast by Morgan Housel and he stated “There are two ways to use money. One is as a tool to live a better life. The other is as a yardstick of status to measure yourself against others.” When I heard this it landed like a gut punch as I am aware how both of these motives have shown up in my own life.

We all want to use money as a tool to provide for our families, create meaningful experiences, support causes we care about, and build the life we envision. But I have come to realize that after a certain level of income, it's so much easier, and so much more common, to use money as a measuring stick.

It shows up when we are in the presence of others and begin to whisper questions to ourselves: "How am I doing relative to you? Do you have more than I do? Do I have more than you do? Where do we sit in the pecking order?" 

Even when we genuinely want to use money as a tool for happiness and fulfillment, I have found that the measuring stick mentality creeps in almost without our notice.

The Invisible Shift

The transition from tool to measuring stick doesn't happen overnight. We achieve that initial level of security, but instead of feeling satisfied, we notice what others have. A business partner drives a newer car. A colleague takes more expensive vacations. A neighbor renovates their kitchen with granite countertops. Suddenly our idea of "enough" starts to change. It's no longer about what we actually need. Now it's about keeping up with everyone else. Money stops being a tool to improve our life and instead, becomes a way to prove we're doing better than the person next door.

I remember a distinct moment when this happened to me. I was at a business forum made up of a group of very accomplished entrepreneurs.  The conversation naturally drifted to business growth, acquisitions, and exits; with each person sharing their achievements. As I listened, I found myself mentally calculating where I ranked in the group. Not whether I was happy with my progress, not whether my business was aligned with my values, but simply: "Am I winning or losing compared to these people?"  

It was a sobering moment of self-awareness. Somewhere along the way, my relationship with money had subconsciously shifted from seeking freedom to seeking status. 

Don't get me wrong, I had accomplished some significant milestones and I had generated meaningful financial outcomes, that I was aware put me in very rare air.  But here's the thing about comparison; it is all relative to whoever you compare yourself with.  And relative to the company I was in, I felt like I had accomplished so little.

Logic told me one thing however my emotions told me another and my emotions were winning.

The Trap of the Measuring Stick

In Sahill Bloom’s book The 5 Types of Wealth, I read the story of a successful entrepreneur who had just completed a spectacular exit. To celebrate, he chartered a private yacht and invited his closest friends and family for an unforgettable trip. As the group gathered in the harbour, one of his friends glanced across the bay, noticed a much larger superyacht, and casually asked, “I wonder what that person did to afford that boat?”

In that moment, despite being surrounded by people he loved and having every reason to feel proud, the founder felt a wave of inadequacy wash over him. What should have been a time of joy and gratitude was clouded by a single comment that had made the founder feel inadequate relative to the owner of the super yacht.

As Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” and in the world of wealth and achievement, it’s a thief that never sleeps. 

When money becomes a measuring stick, several destructive patterns emerge:

First, there's never enough. No matter how much we accumulate, there's always someone who has more. The billionaire compares themselves to multi-billionaires and the millionaire feels inadequate next to those with tens of millions. The trap is infinite because the comparison game has no finish line. 

Second, we begin making decisions based on external validation, rather than what truly serves our life. We buy the expensive watch not because we love timepieces, but because it signals success. We upgrade your car not because we need better transportation, but because our current vehicle doesn't match our perceived status level. When money becomes a measuring stick, we often feel compelled to do the flashy, the impressive, the enviable.

Third, the “measuring stick” mindset creates a frustrating paradox: the more financially successful we become, the less satisfied we feel. That’s because of the arrival fallacy; the illusion that happiness awaits at the next milestone. Each new achievement doesn’t bring lasting fulfillment; it just shifts our focus to the goal posts that just keep moving further ahead. 

Charlie Munger famously said, "It is not greed that drives the world, but envy."

Think about that for a moment. While I am not a proponent of greed as a motivation, at least it has an endpoint. When envy becomes the driver of our relationship with money, we're building a life of frustration and futility. It doesn't matter what we achieve or what we accumulate; there will always be someone who has more. The truth? There’s always a bigger boat.

The Power of Money as a Tool

When money functions as a tool, the questions shift from "How do I rank?" to "How can this serve my life and the lives of others?" The focus moves from accumulation for its own sake to intentional deployment of resources toward meaningful outcomes.

What I’ve come to understand is that lasting happiness doesn’t come from having more money; it comes from finding peace with what you already have. The people who are most content with their wealth are the ones who’ve stopped thinking about it all the time.

We can value money, respect it and admire its potential. But if it’s constantly occupying our mind, it’s no longer a tool; it’s an obsession. That kind of fixation often signals a sickness and addiction… Money is meant to serve us, not shape us; it’s a resource to amplify our values, not define our identity.

Making the Shift Back

If you recognize yourself in the measuring stick mentality, you're not alone and more importantly, you're not stuck there. The shift back to using money as a tool requires intentional rewiring of how you think about wealth and success.

Start by getting clear on what "enough" actually means. Not enough to impress others, not enough to win some imaginary competition, but enough to support our values and live the life we actually want. 

In my experience, this requires honest self-reflection; getting clear on what are our values, our priorities, and our vision for a fulfilling life. Also in knowing that our ultimate fulfillment comes from using our resources to benefit others, in which case our definition of “enough” will develop a whole new meaning.

Next, begin making financial decisions based on our internal compass rather than external validation. Before any significant purchase or investment, ask yourself: "Is this serving my values and goals, or is this about external validation and how it will look to others?" Always avoid the latter.

When money functions as a tool, it becomes a means of strengthening relationships. We invest in experiences with loved ones, support friends' endeavors, contribute to your community, and use your resources to deepen rather than distance yourself from others.  When it serves as a tool, we become contributors to the well-being of everyone in our orbit.

Final Thoughts: Choose Your Relationship

I've learned that the most successful people are those who have figured out how to use money as a tool while remaining largely indifferent to how their wealth compares to others. They've discovered that the scoreboard that actually matters isn't the one that ranks them against their peers, but the one that measures whether their resources are serving their values and creating the life they truly want.

The question isn't whether you should pursue financial goals…you should. There's nothing wrong with having ambitious financial goals, but make sure those goals are serving the life we actually want to live, not the image we want to project.

This week, I encourage you to examine your own relationship with money:

• When you make financial decisions, are you asking "Will this serve my values and goals?" or "Will this impress others?"
• Do you find yourself frequently comparing your financial situation to others', or do you focus on whether your money is working to support your values?
• Are your wealth-building efforts creating more freedom and fulfillment, or more stress and competition?

I'm a big believer in the idea of future regret minimization. The concept is this: examine how you are currently living your life and then fast forward to your 80-year-old self and ask the question: "Will I say, 'I'm glad I did' or 'I wish I had'.”  

When we're looking back on our lives, we won't regret using our wealth as a tool to create meaning, build relationships, and live according to our values. But we will regret spending decades chasing financial status, as a part of an imaginary game, racking up points on a meaningless scoreboard. 

As Naval Ravikant wisely put it, “The goal of financial wealth is to stop playing the money game—not to win it endlessly.”

Choose to use money as a tool. Your future self will thank you for it.

If you're ready to move from striving to thriving and from financial competition to financial wisdom, I encourage you to visit www.fullspectrumlife.com to explore our Guided Mastermind. It's for accomplished business leaders who are ready to go beyond success and step into a life of true significance.

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