Written By: Brad Pedersen

Every year, as Q3 comes to a close and the pace of life begins its final sprint into the holidays, I carve out space to do something different; something most people push off until the final days of December. 

I slow down.

Before the noise of Christmas ramps up and the urgency of a new year hijacks my intentions, I take stock. I reflect on what the past year has taught me; what worked, what didn’t, and where I might be drifting from the life I want to intentionally design. 

With a fresh perspective, I begin to draft what the next chapter could look like. Not in concrete, but in pencil; letting it breathe, giving it time to settle before I commit.

As part of my process I ensure that my goals are in alignment with the expectations in my most important relationship.  With that in mind, my wife and I just returned from our annual retreat.  It is a time we purposefully book, in order to get above the noise, step out onto the balcony of our life, where we take time to compare our plans. 

It’s a rhythm we’ve grown to love. 

We look back at the last 12 months to celebrate the wins and also to sit with the lessons, deciding how to carry them forward. We review our goals and ensure that our plans are compatible and not competitive; taking time to consider m how we can support each other. 

Next we open our calendars, anchoring in our most important priorities; family time, investments into growth, prioritizing health and rest,  planning  travel and adventures. We do this because we  have learned that if we don’t intentionally take the time to plan and schedule our priorities, life has a way of crowding them out.

There’s an old story I came across many years ago that perfectly captures why this rhythm matters so much. It is especially true for business leaders, who tend to be  living in the tension between ambition and intention.

A Sage Story

The classroom was quiet when the professor walked in.

Without a word, he placed five items on the desk at the front of the room:

A large, clear glass jar.

A pile of fist-sized rocks.

A bowl of pebbles.

A small heap of sand.

And a glass of water.

The students exchanged curious glances.

Then, deliberately, the professor began.

He picked up the rocks and placed them one by one into the jar until they reached the rim. He looked up and asked, “Is it full?”

The class, eager and confident, replied in unison, “Yes.”

He said nothing. Instead, he took the bowl of pebbles and poured them over the rocks. Gently shaking the jar, the pebbles found their way into the gaps. He asked again, “Full now?”

The students, slightly amused, said, “Yes.”

Next came the sand. He poured slowly, letting it settle between every remaining space. He tapped the jar. The sand sifted deeper.

“What about now?” he asked.

The class was catching on and offered up a few hesitant nods.

Finally, he lifted the glass of water. Slowly, he poured and the water snaked its way through the sand, the pebbles, the rocks, until it reached the brim.

He looked up. “Now is it full?”

The room was silent.

Then he asked, “What’s the point of this demonstration?”

A hand shot up. “That no matter how full your schedule is, there’s always room to do more. We can always make the time to fit in something else.”

The professor smiled, but shook his head.

“No,” he said quietly. “That’s not the lesson.”

He pointed to the rocks.

If you do not put the rocks in first you will never get them in.

“The rocks are the most important values in your life. Your faith. Your family. Your health. Your closest relationships. Your purpose. 

Then he motioned to the pebbles.

“These are the good but not essential things. Your job. Your hobbies. Your social circle. Your responsibilities.”

He pointed to the sand.

“This is the noise. The distractions. The seemingly “good” things that pull your attention but are not the great things that ultimately move your life forward.”

Finally, he lifted the glass that once held water.

“And this is everything else. The mindless scrolling. The unimportant meetings. The emails that don’t matter. The ‘yeses’ you give out of guilt instead of alignment.”

He paused and let it sink in.

“If you start with the water and the sand, like the jar, your life will be too full to hold what matters most.”

The Silent Takeover

There’s a hidden danger tucked inside this simple demonstration and it becomes more obvious the older we get. 

The sand and water are easier. They provide the dopamine hits we crave and they pour in without resistance. They disguise themselves as important, even masquerading as productivity. 

They offer quick spurts of validation, distraction, or a false sense of urgency. So they seep in and without noticing, we fill our lives with things that crowd out our ability to focus on what truly will matter most. 

It happens every time we say “yes” to something that steals from our best. Not because we meant to but because we didn't stop to reflect if the investment of our time is serving our values.

We become addicted to being busy but not productive and in the process confuse activity for accomplishment.  In the end this busyness will drown out the possibilities and potential, leading to a life that is settled for versus a life that is  truly fulfilling.  As Socrates warned, “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” 

Your Move

So, as we head into the holiday break and prepare for the year ahead, I'd encourage you to think about this metaphor.

The gravel, sand and water will always be there; they are a part of life. The lesson is that we should never let them in until we first put in the big rocks. 

And the truth is that if all we ever placed in the jar were the rocks - our people, our health, our purpose, our values - our lives would actually be full and  feel very fulfilled. 

So start with the rocks. 

Write them down. 

Name them out loud and plan to put them in the jar first. Not after the quarter ends, not after the project ships and not after life “settles down.”

Because the truth is, it won’t.

Life doesn’t slow down….we have to.  We must live with intention and purpose. Taking the time to step out on the balcony of life to reflect is the only way to truly get clarity. 

So ask yourself:

• What are the rocks in my life?
   
• Am I giving them first priority, or trying to fit them into whatever space is left?
   
• What needs to be scheduled now so I don’t compromise what matters later?

The answer is rarely about doing more but rather about prioritizing what is essential. To ensure we are giving our most precious resource (our time) to what is really most important in life.

It is about ensuring we schedule the vital few before it is overwhelmed by the trivial many. And in my experience if you take the time to plan to get the order right, the rest has a way of finding its place.

♻️ Share this with someone you care about — someone whose jar might be a little too full right now.

And if you’re looking for a way to bring more clarity, alignment, and intention to your next chapter, follow Brad Pedersen and Vijay Krishnan for more content like this.

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