Written By: Brad Pedersen

For most of my life, I made the mistake that many accomplished leaders make: I believed my purpose was my work.

Closing deals, building teams, scaling companies and searching for ways to build value which would eventually provide an option to exit the business - I thought that what I did was who I was. If you had asked me about my purpose, I would have responded with what I did for work, my experiences and the measurable achievements. 

I was wrong.

This past semester, as part of our Full Spectrum mastermind, we invested 11 weeks to actually write a purpose statement for our lives. In the process what I learned has helped create a new lens in how I see myself, beyond what I do and it has allowed me to make better decisions about where to commit my time and resources.

The Problem of External Metrics

It is true that we all have passions in life and unique gifts. We are born with an inherent desire to use our gifts, and when we do, that work itself is meaningful. But here's what I've learned: our work is simply an expression of our purpose; it is not our purpose.

That might sound like semantics, but stay with me.

The most valuable part of our life is our relationships. In each of our relationships, we play a role, and for many of us, one of those important roles is as a provider. Likewise for many of us, it is also the role that is the most rewarding.

Why?

Because we are good at it, and we get the satisfaction of seeing progress by measuring tangible/visible results: money, possessions, power, and status. The metrics are clear, the feedback is immediate, and the external validation is a predictable and expected outcome.

But how do we measure the growth of our character? How do we quantify the depth of the relationship with our spouse and kids? How do we validate our overall vitality?  How do we know we are building value in our community?

The truth is, it is much harder since we cannot measure it in the same way.  And because we like to measure progress, we default to investing our time where measurement is easiest: our work.

The trap is to confuse work with purpose, and as a result gravitate towards what we can quantify and neglect what we cannot. 

We become experts at building businesses while our most important “assets” slowly erode from drift and neglect.  

The truth is you are not your business, you  are not your resume. We are something deeper, something that transcends the expression of what we do to create value in the marketplace.

Eulogy vs. Resume Virtues

In my experience, a helpful framework to start the process of getting clear on purpose is for each of us to imagine fast-forwarding to our own funerals and asking the important question: Who will be at my funeral, and what would I want them to say about me?

I doubt any of us would want to be described by the accolades on our resume. Instead, we want to be remembered by our character; words like “kind”, “loving”, “courageous”, “empathetic”, and “adventurous”. We want to be remembered for the way we showed up in our most important relationships.

I’ve witnessed this first hand  as over the past several years, I have lost many people who were close to me and attended their end-of-life celebrations. All of these people lived remarkable lives and accomplished many things. What I find fascinating is that during these celebrations, no one mentioned their assets, the size of their bank account, the car they drove, or the house they lived in, or things which would headline a resume. Instead, every story shared was about their character and the impact they made on those around them.

This is the difference between our Resume Virtues and Eulogy Virtues. Resume Virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace; the things you did to get ahead and the classic measures of success. Eulogy Virtues are the things you cultivate in your soul; the answers to how we loved and how we were loved in return.

When we commit to living out our Eulogy Virtues, we shift our focus from "What am I doing?" to "Who am I becoming?"  This is an important question and a foundational step in getting clear on understanding our  true purpose.

From Laying Bricks to Building a Cathedral

The amazing thing about getting clarity on our purpose is that it actually allows us to show up even more powerfully in  our work. When you get clear on your purpose, that core identity and impact which drives you, it changes how you show up in your work.

This reminds me of a story about three bricklayers:

A man came across three workers laying bricks and asked each of them what they were doing. The first worker looked up and said, "I'm laying bricks." The second worker paused and said, "I'm building a wall." The third worker stood up with pride and said, "I'm building a cathedral."

All three were performing the exact same labor with the same materials. However, the third worker had connected his work to a larger purpose he was committed to. He saw beyond the brick and the wall, seeing a cathedral; not only something more substantial than the sum of its parts, but a magnificent structure that would build value for people and the world. The cathedral was an expression of love and care through his creativity that would benefit others around him. That clarity changed how he saw his work and how he showed up each day, where his labor was transformed into legacy.

This is the power of purpose: it doesn't always change what you do, but it profoundly changes why you do it, the people you serve through your work, and the meaning you derive from it.

Purpose As Your Decision Filter

The benefit of getting clear on our purpose is that decisions become significantly easier.

You stop asking, "What will make me more successful?" and start asking, "What aligns with who I'm becoming and the impact I want to leave?"

Your purpose becomes a filter through which you evaluate every opportunity, every commitment, and every use of your time:

• Is this transactional or transformational? (Is this a one-off deal, or does it open a gateway to something bigger?)
• Does this play to my unique gifts, or does it pull me away from them?
• Will this decision lead to more Resume Virtues or more Eulogy Virtues?

Having clarity on purpose not only provides an important decision filter but also becomes a focal point for evaluating the progress of our life. Financial metrics and resume metrics are still part of the formula, but no longer exclusively so. Knowing how we want to be remembered at our end of life brings clarity around how we need to start living today and how we can evaluate our progress across what is truly most important: relationships, character growth, health and overall vitality.

When we focus on these things, we stop chasing extrinsic validation and start living from intrinsic motivation. We stop feeling like our work defines us and start seeing our work as one powerful expression of something deeper, something that will outlast any business we build.

Final Thoughts: Reflect and Realign

I am not against ambition, and I am not against building businesses or achieving goals and financial success. These things matter, but they must never be the sole focus of how we define the purpose of our lives.

The best investment we can make isn't in our portfolio; it's in investing the time to grow ourselves and that starts in understanding our real purpose. 

So this week, I want to invite you to start with the Funeral Exercise. Set aside some time to get clear on what you would want those closest to you to say about you at the end of your life. How would they describe you, the way you lived, and most importantly, the impact you made?

Because your work isn't your purpose.

And that's good news. It means you are bigger than your business, you are more than your resume, and the impact you make extends far beyond what you do for a living. It is inclusive of it but clarity around purpose will move us from simply laying bricks to building a magnificent cathedral!

The greatest fulfillment does not come from our achievements, but rather from discovering who we were truly created to be and then living in alignment with our values.  The dividends on living within our purpose will always exceed those simply generated by our performance.

If you are intrigued and you would like to learn more about how we can help you discover your purpose in life, then simply respond to this message with the word "purpose" and I will happily send you out the step by step framework.

If you're ready to move from striving to thriving, and from self-focus to purpose-driven living, visit www.fullspectrumlife.com to explore our Guided Mastermind. It's not for everyone, but it is for accomplished business leaders who are ready to go beyond success and step into a life of true significance.

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• Visit our website for blogs, quick videos and key teachings. Click Here to access.
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